Teens: Better Than You Think

Life often moves at a relentless pace, demanding our full attention and leaving little room for reflection. In the whirlwind of daily tasks and responsibilities, I almost let slip a truly profound experience that unfolded just the other day. It was an encounter that initially seemed like a routine obligation but transformed into a deeply meaningful lesson, one that has resonated within me ever since. This isn’t just a fleeting memory; it’s a moment indelibly etched into my heart, offering a fresh perspective on connection, kindness, and the often-misunderstood world of teenagers.
Our visit to “Good Things Utah” yesterday was, for all intents and purposes, a professional engagement. Yet, what transpired there was anything but ordinary. I certainly didn’t anticipate the emotional impact it would have, nor the quiet epiphany it would spark. It was a day that started with typical pre-show jitters and ended with a heartwarming revelation, all thanks to an unexpected moment of genuine human connection that beautifully unfolded live on air.
My daughter, Peyton, was scheduled for her very first television appearance, a prospect that understandably brought a wave of nerves. For any teenager, stepping into the bright lights of a TV studio, knowing countless viewers might be watching, is a significant event. The stakes feel incredibly high. As we settled into a quiet corner, waiting for our segment to begin, Peyton, true to her observant nature, began to people-watch. Her eyes silently scanned the busy studio, taking in every detail, every person, every interaction. A soft whisper broke her silence: “How do you think the host, Nicea DeGering, will treat us? And especially me, a teenager?” Her question hung in the air, a silent plea for reassurance, revealing a common adolescent anxiety about how adults, particularly those in positions of authority, perceive and engage with young people. It was a valid concern, echoing the sometimes-strained dynamics between generations.
The moment arrived. Nicea DeGering, with a professional grace and an approachable demeanor, walked over to our waiting area. She didn’t stand over us or rush the interaction; instead, she simply sat down in a nearby chair, signaling a readiness to connect on an equal footing. According to Peyton, the subsequent minutes blurred into a whirlwind of activity, the bright lights and the impending live broadcast creating a sensory overload. However, one singular detail cut through the haze, leaving an indelible mark.
Nicea didn’t just acknowledge Peyton’s presence; she actively engaged with her. Her gaze was direct, her smile genuine. She initiated conversation, not just with me, but specifically with Peyton. There was laughter, encouragement, and a palpable sense of warmth in their exchange. It wasn’t a perfunctory greeting; it was a real, meaningful interaction that communicated genuine interest and respect. This wasn’t merely a host preparing for a segment; it was one human connecting with another, recognizing the vulnerability and excitement of a young individual on national television.
And Peyton, sensing this authentic engagement, responded in kind. The initial apprehension visibly melted away, replaced by a newfound ease and confidence.

The Profound Impact of Feeling Just As Important

As we drove home through the drizzling rain, the sky a tapestry of deepening gray clouds, a sense of lightness filled the car, completely at odds with the weather outside. The post-show buzz still lingered, but it was Peyton’s spontaneous reflection that truly captured my attention. “Mom,” she exclaimed, her voice still bright with residual excitement, “that was actually pretty fun! And did you notice how incredibly kind Nicea was to me?” Her words were a gentle prompt, a spotlight on something I had almost overlooked.
In my own focus on the logistics of the TV appearance, ensuring everything ran smoothly, I realized I hadn’t fully registered the nuance of Nicea’s interaction with Peyton. I was in the moment, yes, but perhaps not in *Peyton’s* moment. My mood, however, did not reflect the gloomy day. Instead, I felt light, happy, and immensely proud, not just of Peyton’s performance, but of the invaluable lesson we had both just witnessed.
Peyton was absolutely spot on. Nicea DeGering, a seasoned television personality, had every right and perhaps even the expectation, to maintain a certain professional distance or adopt a more authoritative stance, especially with a young, nervous teenager. She could have easily dismissed Peyton as just another “snotty” teen, as some adults might unfairly label adolescents. Instead, Nicea chose a different path. She spoke to Peyton not as a child, or a subordinate, but as an equal – as someone whose thoughts, feelings, and presence were just as valid and important as her mother’s, or indeed, anyone else in the room. This simple act of treating Peyton with such genuine respect, valuing her perspective and her personhood, resonated deeply. It wasn’t about pandering; it was about acknowledging her inherent worth.

Challenging Perceptions: Why We Need to Stop Dismissing Teens

This profound realization about Nicea’s kindness sparked a wider contemplation in my mind as we continued our journey. I began to reflect on my closest friends, the women I cherish like sisters, despite their often vastly different personalities and life paths. What struck me was a common thread among them, an unspoken rule that binds our friendships: none of them ever speak down to my children, nor do they diminish their own. They consistently approach young people with an inherent respect, recognizing their individuality and potential, even when faced with typical adolescent challenges. This shared value, more than any other, has always been a bedrock of our relationships, though I hadn’t fully articulated its significance until now.
I was forced to confront my own past habits. How many times have I, in moments of frustration or commiseration with a fellow parent, casually rattled off phrases like, “Oh, kids are the worst!” or “Teenagers are just impossible”? It’s a common refrain in adult conversations, almost a societal norm to complain about the younger generation. But after seeing the genuine connection Nicea forged with Peyton, and recalling the consistent respect my friends show, those casual dismissals no longer sit right with me. The automatic negativity, the broad generalizations about adolescents, feel hollow and unfair now. The experience on “Good Things Utah” served as a powerful mirror, reflecting a need for a change in my own perspective and a conscious effort to dismantle these ingrained adult biases.

Beyond Stereotypes: Teens Are Actually the Best

The question then emerged with striking clarity: maybe it’s not the teenagers who are “the worst”; perhaps it’s often the adults who are perpetuating a cycle of negativity and misunderstanding. We, as adults, frequently lament the disrespect we perceive from young people, but do we always model the respect we expect? Can you truly imagine the outrage, the calls for “disrespect” and “immaturity,” that would erupt if teenagers consistently labeled adults as “nightmares,” “oblivious,” or “stubborn”? The double standard becomes glaringly apparent when viewed from this perspective. Our societal narrative often paints teenagers with a broad, negative brush, highlighting their moodiness, their perceived lack of responsibility, or their rebellious streaks. Yet, we often overlook their burgeoning creativity, their passionate idealism, their fierce loyalty, and their remarkable capacity for empathy and kindness, especially when these qualities are reciprocated.
This experience served as a powerful reminder that our perception shapes our reality. When we approach teenagers with an open mind, ready to engage rather than judge, we unlock their incredible potential. It allows us to see beyond the typical adolescent struggles and appreciate the unique, developing individuals they are. It’s about recognizing their journey, their quest for identity, and their desire to be understood and valued, just like any other human being. By simply offering genuine respect and active listening, we can foster environments where young people thrive and feel empowered.
Yesterday, through the insightful eyes of my teenage daughter, and thanks to the exemplary conduct of another adult, I was granted a glimpse into a more compassionate and equitable way of interacting with the younger generation. It was a profound lesson in empathy and the simple, yet transformative, power of treating everyone with the dignity they deserve. This epiphany wasn’t merely a fleeting thought; it was a deeply felt shift in understanding, a commitment to adjust my own interactions and perceptions moving forward.
Moving forward, I commit to being better. I will actively challenge my own preconceived notions and encourage others to do the same. Because, truly, when you look past the stereotypes and engage with them authentically, teenagers are actually the best. We just need to acknowledge it, vocalize it, and live it in our interactions every single day. Let’s champion a culture where respect flows freely between all generations, recognizing the invaluable contributions and unique perspectives that young people bring to our world.