As I stood on the cusp of junior high, a pivotal moment unfolded in our home. My mom, with a look of deep conviction, gathered us, her children, and my dad for what she declared would be the most important counsel we’d receive that year. Her words, delivered with quiet power, became an enduring mantra: Stand, alone if you must, but stand.
This wasn’t just a casual piece of advice; it was a deeply felt conviction she wanted to instill. She envisioned it as one of the most vital lessons she could impart to teenagers and, eventually, to us as parents. While none of us were parents yet, she knew the day would come, and this guiding principle would be indispensable. The message echoed in our ears: Stand, alone if you must, but stand.
And as a special thank you for joining us on this journey, we have a delightful surprise waiting for you at the end of this post!
When Personal Standards Diverge from the Crowd
Growing up, school often came easily to me – with the notable exception of math, a subject I still find challenging! Like any typical teenager, I cherished my friendships and the social aspects of school life. Yet, as junior high progressed, I began to notice a growing divergence between my values and the choices of my peers.
Kids around me were starting to experiment, dabbling in activities and behaviors that I had been explicitly taught to avoid. And by “dabbling,” I mean a serious immersion into things that felt fundamentally wrong to me. While I didn’t always articulate these concerns directly to my parents, they understood the complexities of adolescence. I found myself increasingly feeling isolated, as if my personal standards and beliefs set me apart from the rising tide of peer pressure.
This growing sense of being an outlier, however, was fundamentally reshaped by that one memorable family council. The motto we adopted that day became a powerful lens through which I viewed the world, transforming my perspective on standing firm. Today, we’re excited to share that same timeless principle with you, offering you the chance to bring this same strength and conviction into your own home, by creating your own family motto and visual reminder.
The Unwavering Power of “Stand, Alone if You Must, But Stand”
I distinctly remember the evening my mom and dad held a very special Family Home Evening (FHE). For those unfamiliar, a Family Home Evening is a dedicated time, often one night a week, set aside for families to come together. While anyone can incorporate this practice into their routine, ours originated from counsel given to members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It’s a time to strengthen family bonds, share lessons on vital principles like respect, love, and forgiveness, or simply enjoy fun activities together. It’s a cornerstone of building strong family foundations and nurturing shared values.
As was our custom, we all settled in, ready for our usual FHE, perhaps expecting a familiar lesson or activity. But this evening felt different. My mom began by gently reminding us that she and Dad had once been teenagers themselves. They spoke of understanding the pressures we faced, and with unwavering conviction, they expressed their absolute belief in our ability to stand strong. They knew, with all their hearts, that we were not only capable but well-prepared to uphold what was right, even when it was difficult.
It was at this point that my mom unveiled a powerful visual aid: a picture depicting a young girl standing resolutely at the top of a snow-covered hill. Footprints led up to her, signifying a journey taken, and snow swirled around her, hinting at the challenges of her solitary position. Emblazoned across the top of the image were the very words that had become our new family motto: “Stand, Alone if you Must, but Stand.” This image, she explained, served as a profound reminder that even when the path requires us to walk alone, we possess the courage and strength to do so. It taught us that regardless of societal trends or popular opinion, we could and should uphold the truths we knew deep within our hearts.
To ensure this vital message remained at the forefront of our minds, my mom carefully hung the picture prominently by our computer in the family office. It became a daily visual anchor, a silent yet powerful advocate for conviction and integrity. This simple act reinforced the idea that our principles were not to be swayed by external forces, but rather to be firmly rooted in our inner convictions. The image served as a constant encouragement to maintain our moral compass, even when the journey felt solitary.
A Timeless Principle for Modern Parenthood
Years have passed since that impactful family council, and the world has transformed in ways I scarcely imagined. Yet, the motto—”Stand, Alone if You Must, but Stand”—remains not just a memory, but a deeply ingrained conviction that I hold onto with all my heart. I never envisioned life unfolding amidst such pervasive challenges: a constant struggle to navigate societal complexities, the metaphorical “wars and rumors of wars” echoing through our communities and media, and the immense responsibility of raising children in this intricate landscape. We strive to hold our children close, offering love and guidance, all while endeavoring to teach them to become self-governing individuals, capable of making good and righteous choices in a world that often presents conflicting paths.
But here we are, facing these realities head-on. And just as it guided me through my formative years, that powerful motto—”Stand, Alone if You Must, but Stand”—now hangs prominently in our family office. It serves as a daily, tangible reminder, not only for my children but for my spouse and me, that the principles of integrity, conviction, and courage are more critical than ever. It anchors us, inspiring us to model the strength and resilience we hope to cultivate in the next generation, preparing them to face their own challenges with unwavering resolve.
The Personal Journey of Standing Firm
During my teenage years, the application of this motto was often a solitary endeavor. There were times I was the only one in a classroom refusing to cheat on a test, upholding academic integrity even when it felt like everyone else was taking the easy way out. Frequently, I chose to stay home rather than attend certain parties or events that conflicted with my values. You might assume that making these choices brought an immediate sense of strength, peace, or unwavering support from my family (which, to be clear, I absolutely received). However, the candid truth is, these decisions often made me feel profoundly alone in the moment.
So, why did I persist? Why did I choose a path that, at times, led to feelings of isolation? Because I had been raised by truly remarkable parents who meticulously taught me about the potential destructive, addictive, and painful consequences of certain choices. Their lessons were delivered with palpable love and an undeniable ring of truth. They instilled in me the understanding that even if it meant being the sole individual standing firm, it was always preferable to stand alone and true to my principles than to crumble under the weight of peer pressure. That deep conviction, rooted in their wisdom and love, provided the inner fortitude to navigate those challenging times, knowing that the integrity of my choices far outweighed any temporary discomfort or loneliness.
Courageous Parenting: A Guiding Force in Modern Times
Now, as a parent myself, I find my thoughts continually returning to those profound words. The motto “Stand, Alone if You Must, but Stand” isn’t merely a lesson I teach my children; it’s a principle I lean on daily. In today’s rapidly evolving world, it has become abundantly clear that what society desperately needs are courageous parents. This isn’t about being perfect or having all the answers, but about a deep commitment to intentional, principle-centered child-rearing.
Courageous parents are those who are willing to diligently seek answers in a sea of conflicting information, who are mindful and observant of their children’s unique needs and the ever-changing world around them. They are parents who base their decisions on unwavering faith and genuine courage, rather than succumbing to the paralyzing grip of fear or the easy path of laziness. This means actively engaging with their children, understanding their struggles, and providing a moral compass in an often confusing landscape. It means having difficult conversations, setting firm boundaries, and sometimes, making unpopular choices for the long-term well-being of their family. It’s about nurturing resilience, fostering independent thought, and equipping children with the internal strength to make ethical decisions when faced with external pressures. This kind of parenting requires constant effort, self-reflection, and an unshakeable belief in the values they impart.
Embracing the “Stand, Alone if You Must, but Stand” Print
Inspired by this powerful mantra, we collaborated with the talented Lana from Lana’s Shop to create a visual representation of standing firm, even in isolation. Together, we conceived this striking image of a resilient peony, its vibrant petals unfurling amidst a backdrop of dry, brittle weeds. The peony, a symbol of honor, prosperity, and beauty, stands tall and unyielding, embodying the very essence of quiet strength in challenging circumstances.
This beautiful print now graces our office wall, much like my mother’s original picture did for me during my youth. Perhaps one day, I’ll commission Lana to create a similar piece featuring a child on a snowy hill—a heartfelt gift for my siblings, a timeless reminder of the profound counsel that shaped our lives. For now, Lana and I are thrilled to offer each of you the opportunity to bring this inspiring message into your own home. Head directly to this dedicated page in her shop, Lana’s Shop, and easily order your own printable. I’m already securing a few copies to share with friends and family who I know will appreciate its powerful message.
As Larry R. Lawrence eloquently stated in his talk, “Courageous Parenting”: “In these last days, what the world really needs is courageous parenting from mothers and fathers who are not afraid to speak up and take a stand.” This profound truth resonates deeply as we embark on another school year. It’s a perfect time to gather our families, to engage in meaningful conversations about the principles we believe in, and to strengthen our collective resolve to stand for what’s right, even when it means standing alone. My partner, Cade, and I often dedicate our evenings to discussing the specific challenges and opportunities we anticipate for the year. We remind each other that our role isn’t to yield to every demand or societal pressure, but to live with integrity and purpose—to be courageous enough to stand firm, even when our children’s immediate happiness might be challenged by the boundaries and choices we make.
Ultimately, the equation is clear and vital for nurturing resilient individuals and strong families: Kids need boundaries. Parents need courage. And both need to stand when needed.